Stock Market Humor: New Stock Market Terms
- CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
- CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
- BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
- BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
- VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
- P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
- BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
- STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
- STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
- STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
- MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
- CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
- PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
Source: Unknown – circulated by e-mail.
