Do you have an elderly parent or loved one who may need care? Finding quality care for an elderly parent, within budget, can be challenging.
I spoke with Becky Feola, founder of Assisted Living Advantage to learn more. Becky provides evaluations and counseling to determine what level of care may be needed, and also offers placement services, where she helps locate the right facility for your loved one.
Q. Becky, what is the biggest misconception about assisted living or care for the elderly?
A. Most people associate assisted living with the end of the road. Assisted living is not the end of the road. It can be a new beginning. With the right care, nutrition, hydration, and tender loving care, your loved one can thrive. In the right setting, it can be a wonderful experience. I’ve helped over 600 families find the right place for their loved one. I've watched people who we thought wouldn't make it that long thrive in their new home.
Q. How does someone go about finding the right facility to provide care for their elderly parent or loved one?
When I evaluate care facilities there are numerous things that need to be considered. Quality care should always be the number one factor. I see people make decisions for the wrong reasons. They might rule a place out because a door stop was missing. This is not the criteria to use to evaluate a facility.
Becky suggested the questions below as a starting place to help you determine if a care center will meet your loved ones needs.
- Can this facility provide the level of care that is needed?
- Is it registered with the state?
- What are they licensed for?
- Can they provide references?
- What are the visiting hours? (Becky said she considers it a red flag if a care facility says your loved one can’t have visitors anytime. Of course visitors need to considerate of their timing as not to be disruptive to scheduling needs, but residents should be able to have visitors anytime.)
- What does the amount quoted include? (With the larger assisted living communities, you will pay a base rate and then the care needs are additional. Also, keep in mind that facilities licensed for a lower level of care, or have no licensing for care, will require you to hire a home health agency to provide care and then you will pay separately for this care.)
- Does the fee increase as care needs increase?
- Does the staff speak English and are they able to communicate clearly to the family and to 911 if necessary.
- What situation would cause you to ask me to remove my loved one from your community? (The most common answer to this is if the resident becomes a danger to others, disruptive, or violent. The first thing you should do in such a case is realize this kind of behavior change can often be attributed to a change in meds or a urinary tract infection.)
Q. What other red flags or concerns should one have if they need to find care for an elderly parent or loved one?
In our discussions, Becky provided several things to watch out for.Be leery if a facility is too cheap. If a facility says they will care for your elderly parent for below market rates or rates that are below what state aid pays, be cautious. You need to ask yourself questions like: what are they paying their staff, what quality of food are they serving, what quality of care can they provide for that price?
Be cautious of online franchise services. When you do an online search for “assisted living” Becky said be cautious of the franchises that pop up such as “A place for mom” or “assistedlivinglocators”. She said they typically send you a list of places in your geographic area, then they send your name to the facilities saying you are their client so that if you choose one of these facilities, they receive a commission. These are not appropriate placement services. What people need are placement services which help determine the type of care your elderly parent may need, understand the budget limitations, offer options or financial resources and then find a good match.
Q. How do you make your loved one’s transition to a care facility a success?
A. You need to realize this is confusing and frightening for them. Do your homework first. Narrow down the choices to ideally one, or at most two options. Understand that a resistant person will find a reason to dislike every place. It’s often best to gather brochures for the selected care facility and arrange lunch with your loved one and a resident of the facility.
Q. If you know that care is needed for an elderly parent but they are resisting a change, what can you do?
A. There are a few select people your loved one will listen to without question - often a doctor, clergy or the police. Enlist help when it is needed. Meet with the trusted person your loved one will listen to, their doctor for example, and explain the situation. Then arrange a meeting with the doctor and your loved one. Let them be the bad guy and explain that this change is necessary. Enlisting help in this way can also mean that your loved one doesn’t have to be mad at you.
For more tips and updates on care for your loved ones you can follow Becky's blog.You can find additional information on how to keep your loved one's safe in Spotting Elder Abuse and Neglect and What to Do About It.
